Become Aware Of What Is Here (by Kip Mazuy)

Meditation
is not about
building yourself up
or trying to be a certain way.

It is not about becoming
a peaceful person
or a wise person
or even an enlightened person.

In meditation
you simply become aware
of what is here.

You turn your focus
back upon yourself
and notice what presents itself.

If you do this,
the ego structure
begins to be peeled away.

Behind all the desires,
distractions, opinions,
beliefs, worries
and emotions.

Behind everything
that the mind has built
upon itself
in order to feel important
and in control
is something
overwhelmingly tender
and vulnerable.

Even painful.

A sense of being
very small and alone
and all of the fear
and helplessness
that goes with it.

And by survival instinct,
you don’t want to feel it,
you don’t want to see it.

The very drive of the ego
is to get as far away
from this vulnerability as possible.

You want to fit in
or at least stand out.

Nobody wants to be a nobody.

But if you can allow yourself
to feel it.

If you can surrender and
allow yourself to be that small
helpless nobody.

If you allow it all to be as it is
at the very core,
then you fall into the essence
which is behind it.

You become immersed
in what is behind it.

And that is love,
that is peace.

You do not have love and peace
as though it was an object to attain,
you dissolve into it.

It bubbles up
from your essence
and spills into
every level of your being
because you have let go
of the very idea of
trying to be a someone.

(Kip Mazuy)